Pitch Black Feathers
by Phantom Lightning
Summary: Alex has come back from a mission, but he's different, in more ways than one... NOT A MAXIMUM RIDE CROSSOVER. 25/2/13 UPDATE: Still hate you.
1. Chapter 1

"Honestly, I can't believe you, Alan! You want to send K-Unit in!" Mrs. Jones was screaming at Alan Blunt, who looked up at her from his desk with an almost bored expression on his face.

"We've been through this before. K-Unit will be able to easily identify him, even if he was dragged through a mud puddle and set on fire, so they're the ideal choice for this mission." Blunt's expression was still blank.

"You can do it. Just please don't add any more disturbing mental images."

* * *

><p>"Alright, K-Unit. This is going to be a simple search and rescue, and no Eagle; I don't know who this mystery agent is. All they said was that we would know who they were once we saw them, and that we already knew them." Eagle opened his mouth to protest, but Wolf cut him off before he could begin speaking. "Shut up and let's get this mission over with." They then picked up their weapons and blew open the door.<p>

"Why wings? I mean, I'm not saying that they're bad or anything, but seriously, _raven_ wings? Are you making fun of the fact that I dressed up as an angel on Halloween? Come on, I was eight!" a voice said, sounding strained but still mocking.

"Let's go that way."

Alex was shackled to the wall, and a scary looking guy with lots of muscles and a fierce expression on his face was holding a bloodied whip.

This scene was (okay, _almost_) perfectly normal in the life of Alex Rider.

Of course, K-Unit didn't think so.

Well, anyone would find it unusual... mostly because of the large black feathery bird wings on his back, which stuck out at an odd angle.

Wolf picked up his gun that he dropped from shock and shot the man in the head, who barely had time to realize he was dead.

"... Cub?" Wolf said after a few awkward moments of staring at each other.

"Yep. That's me. Now will you stop trying to catch flies with your mouths and get me out of here? I'd like to be bandaged and cleaned up before being tied to a chair and being interrogated. Plus my wings really hurt." Alex said sarcastically, trying to shift said wings around.

K-Unit shut up and they flew away on the helicopter that arrived several minutes ago.

"That seems suspicious, don't you think?" Eagle said, noting how fast the helicopter got there.

"I guess... wait a sec... SCORPIA! RUN!" Wolf said, spotting the outline of a scorpion on the side of the helicopter.

But it was too late. Scorpia operatives had already surrounded them.

"We'll be taking Alex Rider now." one of them said. He looked like he was the leader, and was smoking a cigarette.

"Oh you mean him?" Wolf picked Alex up. Alex scowled at Wolf, who then turned him around.

"Steve! It's you! I can't believe it's really you!" Alex hugged the Scorpia member closest to him. K-Unit looked at each other, and Eagle twirled a finger next to his head. Alex briefly glared at Eagle before fully opening his wings, hitting the man in the process of doing so. Alex took their momentary shock as an opening and began fighting them.

"Well? What are you doing? Are you going to help or not?"

The Scorpia agents got over their momentary shock of seeing the spy's wings, and K-Unit got into a battle position.

Suddenly, another helicopter appeared.

"Please let it not be another Scorpia helicopter." Eagle prayed, which earned him a punch in the arm from Wolf.

"It's not."

MI6 Agents dropped down from the helicopter. (Ignore the fact that there's no way so many people could fit inside one helicopter)

**(Pretend there's a long, drawn out fight scene here that I really don't feel like writing right now that ends with them going to the Bank.)**

* * *

><p>Mrs. Jones didn't bother to conceal her surprise at seeing K-Unit drag an enraged Alex Rider kicking and flailing wings which definitely weren't there before.<p>

Mr. Blunt just sat there with his stone cold mask for a face, though a flicker of disbelief passed through his eyes, which was basically the equivalent of a (normal) person running around in circles screaming his head off.

"Hi." said Alex, internally laughing at Mrs. Jones's expression.

* * *

><p><strong>I haven't read Snakehead yet, so please excuse me if I get anything wrong.<strong>

**And this story is mostly just for me to vent... by making a plot that doesn't make too much sense. So it probably won't be finished, but I'll try to finish it! No promises, though. And I personally find it sad that I didn't read in chronological order. It went kind of like this.**

**Ark Angel**

**Stormbreaker**

**Point Blank**

**Scorpia**

**Skeleton Key**

**Crocodile Tears**

**Eagle Strike**

**Scorpia Rising**

**(This spot is reserved for Snakehead.)**

**I find it sad. Apparently, the library had 3 copies of Stormbreaker, two of them being the anniversary edition, and 4 copies of Point Blank.**

**AND ONLY ONE OF EACH OF THE OTHERS.**

**I was reading Ark Angel when my one of friends was looking for it, and he was reading Eagle Strike when_I_ was looking for it.**

**Fail.**

**And I basically wrote this without too much proofreading; I basically just checked the spelling and grammar.**

**Remember, it's just a way for me to vent.**

**~Lightning***


	2. Chapter 2

"...You say that your cover was blown." Mr. Blunt said, his cold voice betraying no emotion.

"...Yes."

"Did you manage to find out what they were doing?"

Alex stared at him like he was crazy. "They were performing experiments on children and animals."

Mr. Blunt raised an eyebrow. "Animals?"

"Yes... animals." Alex held up a small snake. The snake was completely black with a blood red tip on the tail. It had white eyes that seemed to look at you intelligently, like it could talk to you if it could.

"See, Ink here is a snake. Now don't make fun of him, his bite can kill without even biting you. Please don't ask or laugh, one prisoner there was forced to touch Ink's fang and died. His tail here has a metal blade in it, disgusting as it sounds." Alex shuddered and the snake looked at him for a second before slithering onto his wrist and curling around it.

Mrs. Jones was horrified at this. "They actually did this? ... Did they do anything else to you, Alex?"

Alex gulped. "Well... you see... umm..."

"Spit it out, boy!" Mr. Blunt ordered.

"You see... ." Alex unsheathed metal claws from the tips of his fingers.

"They had an obsession with sharp metal objects. I should know. I saw someone there holding a dog with metal teeth and huge pointy things sticking out of it in a cage."

There was a pause.

Finally, Blunt spoke up.

"Then will you work for us?"

Alex and Mrs. Jones stared at him in shock.

"... If I say yes, will I be paid?"

* * *

><p>"Jack!" Alex shouted.<p>

"ALEX!" Jack ran up to him and hugged him.

"Ow! Easy on the wings there!"

Jack froze. "Wings?"

"And a poisonous snake. His name is Ink. Please don't crush him; he's the only friend I had at the facility." The little snake looked up at Jack.

"Wings?"

"Yes, wings." Alex spread said wings out.

There was a thud, and Alex swore.

Jack had fainted.

* * *

><p>When Jack came to almost an hour later, she only numbly said one word.<p>

"Wings?"

"... Yes."

"Please Alex, go outside... I need an aspirin."

Alex obediently walked outside.

* * *

><p>"<em>How <em>_the __hell __do __I __get __mixed __up __with __things __like __this?__"_ Alex thought as he hung onto the thin rope suspended several hundred feet above the ground for dear life. Flames were licking at the ropes, and he knew that the rope wouldn't last much longer. He was just looking for ice cream, and he was attacked by Skoda. (Who somehow magically appeared, and Alex did not know where he came from)

There was a long chase that somehow ended with Alex hanging onto a rope with flames on both ends of it, and Skoda above him.

The ropes snapped.

Alex felt a small voice telling him what to do.

High above the ground, two black wings unfurled, stopping the descent of the owner of the wings.

Alex began to flap his wings, which came oddly naturally to him.

He rose above Skoda, who stared at him in shock and awe, dropping his gun, which Alex swooped down to pick up.

A second later, a clumsy figure flew through the clouds, seemingly holding something very heavy.

* * *

><p>"... You're saying that you <em>flew<em>?" Mr. Blunt's jaw was slack, which was the equivalent of a normal person having a panic attack and dying of a heart attack.

Mrs. Jones's expression was so comical it took all of Alex's self control not to burst out laughing. Her peppermint had also fallen out of her mouth, only adding to the effect.

"I'm not just _saying_ that I flew, I _did_. Ink here was screaming at me to stop it." At the odd expressions directed towards him, he clarified. "Ink has telepathy."

Alan Blunt closed his mouth and cleared his throat. "Wolf reported seeing a man standing in front of you holding a bloody whip. Why didn't you have any wounds?"

Alex squirmed uncomfortably. "They injected this glowing blue stuff in me, and it made me fall asleep. When I woke up... I was pretty much better... except for the fact that I felt like shit."

Mr. Blunt glared at him. "Language, Alex."

"I spend most of my time around criminals and people who should be bloody comic book villains; of course I'm going to swear!"

Mr. Blunt looked thoughtful for a second. "True. Well then, you're going to be even more useful for missions now."

Alex gaped at him. "Are you bloody serious? I just got back from one of my missions two days ago, where I was experimented on!"

Blunt continued, pretending to have not even heard him. "We want you to investigate a school. There have been numerous accounts of students there disappearing for a week, then having their corpses found there. We already have your new identity, Smithers made it yesterday. You'll be Alex Nevermore," Alex choked there.

"Are you serious? I read that poem!" he interrupted, sputtering,

"Yes. As I was saying, Alex Nevermore has asthma, so you won't have to participate in any physical activities. Here are your files. Go to Smithers to get your gadgets, and remember- you'll be leaving in one week, and I want you to be in this office at 0900 and Tuesday."

Alex walked through the door, slightly depressed. Oh well. A visit to Smithers always cheered him up.

* * *

><p>"Alex m'boy! Good to see you again!" Smithers said, this time holding a small black box.<p>

"Hey Smithers. Nice to see you again." Alex said, smiling.

"This time they let you have weapons. This may look like a watch, but if you press this button..." he pressed a small button on the side of a watch. "It's a laser." The laser burned through a small piece of wood Smithers held up. "Be careful with this one. This may look like a Ravenclaw pin- sorry, Alex, I couldn't resist- but it you pull this little tab on the side, it folds out to be a knife. I heard that you don't really need one, but better safe then sorry. And I know you like your explosives, so here." Smithers handed Alex a box of pencils.

"Er... What do they do?" Alex said, looking one of them over.

"Twist the wooden parts of the pencil clockwise twice, throw it at something and it'll explode in 10 seconds. These mechanical pencils work the same way, except they're much more powerful."

Smithers took an inhaler out of the box. "Carry this with you. It's a very handy device, it lets you breathe underwater, and if you press the button on the side three times quickly, it sends a panic signal out to us. If you aim it at someone and twist it around clockwise three times, it knocks a person out for several hours."

"And finally, this." Smithers took out a small black case.

"I don't wear glasses." Alex said, slightly confused.

"These glasses are special. If you press the button on the right side, it allows you to see in the dark. If you press the button on the other side, it magnifies your vision. Squeeze the little red logo on the left side, and it allows you to see what parts of things are cold and what are hot. The bluer, the colder; the redder, the hotter. They're solar powered; just leave the case in the sunlight and it'll charge the glasses if you put them inside."

"Thanks Mr. Smithers!" Alex said, smiling.

"Anytime! And please do visit again, Alex!"

Alex grabbed the case and the files and flew home (completely ignoring the confused agent waiting in a car for him.)

* * *

><p><strong>Pft. I don't know how to write Smithers. xC<strong>

**I'm sorry if any characters are OOC.**

**I was in a writing mood, so that's why this is up so early. C:**

**And to Mainn, who reviewed- thanks!**

**And just to let everyone know, this will not, and I repeat, NOT be a crossover with Maximum Ride. I really love both book series, but I don't want to make this a crossover. Maybe I could get Alex to read the series, though...?**


	3. Chapter 3

***COUGH* I clearly stated in the last chapter that this would not be a Maximum Ride crossover. I love both series, but I don't think I can really make it a crossover. And I wrote the whole flying thing in because I felt like venting and throwing several different story ideas I had into here. And I'm fairly certain that Alex Rider takes place in England, whereas Maximum Ride takes place in America. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I highly doubt that the flock would want to be on an airplane or boat to Europe, and I'm pretty sure that they cannot fly all the way there. Alex would only be in America because of a visit to someone there or for a mission and I highly doubt that he would notice a few dark shapes in the sky while dodging bullets.**

**Plus, the names are too similar for my liking. (Fail reason, I know.)**

**Sorry about the long rant, I already said that it wouldn't be a crossover and I'm not feeling too good today. I was playing with my Bakugan, and I forgot to move my face out of the way. XC**

**Stupid Sky Raiders. I got hit in the face by one of them. What possessed me to buy two identical Bakugan (well, the only difference is the attributes) is beyond me.**

* * *

><p>"Jack!" Alex called out.<p>

"Alex? Are you back?" Jack called out from somewhere, presumably the kitchen.

Alex rolled his eyes. "No, I'm his ghost because I fell off of a burning cable suspended several hundred feet above the ground."

"Stop joking around Alex; I was actually worried about you!"

"But I did fall off a burning cable suspended several hundred feet above the ground!"

"... YOU DID? Then how are you still alive?"

"... I flew?"

"Of course. Now will you help me with the food?"

Alex gulped. "How long hove you been cooking?"

"About 7 minutes." Alex sighed in relief and hurried to begin cooking for her.

* * *

><p>It had been about a week and Alex stood inside the MI6 headquarters with his gadgets in his bag. He was wearing the watch and reading a book, sitting in the waiting room.<p>

"Hm... That's weird..." he mumbled, reading the novel called Maximum Ride. It was odd, the fact that their last names were so similar. Ride and Rider. Except Ride had a group of friends, family even, while Rider had few that he didn't see often. It was sort of disappointing. Oh well, at least he wasn't in any novels... right? **(Pft. ****I ****have ****fun ****with ****things ****like ****this.)**

Ink looked at the book, reading a few pages as he flipped through them, and then stared at Alex. _"__Are __you __crazy?__"_

"_No."_

Alex checked his watched and scowled. 9:21.

How predictable.

He walked to the elevator, ignoring the secretary, and went to the floor where he knew Alan Blunt and Tulip Jones always were. He sometimes wondered if they lived here. There were always in the same place, in the same exact clothes, with the same exact appearances, reading the same exact files.

It was sort of scary.

Alex knocked on the door.

"Come in." Mrs. Jones called out.

"... It's Tuesday." Alex said flatly.

"Yes. Our agent got in a car accident. We're waiting for our other agent to pick him up."

Alex opened his mouth to ask a question, but Mrs. Jones cut him off.

"And no, Alex, that does not mean being sliced to ribbons by bullets, it was an actual car accident this time." Mrs. Jones said, correctly predicting what Alex was going to say.

Alex was surprised. "You mean... they were in an _actual_ car accident?"

"Yes."

"That's... sort of ironic, I guess. So... What do I do in the meantime?"

"Sit down and do your homework." Blunt said.

Alex blinked, shrugged, and then did his maths homework.

The past week had been too crazy for him.

But still, looking back, it was definitely more exciting then sitting next to the heads of MI6 while doing homework.

It seemed to make more sense then right now, especially if you knew Alan Blunt.

* * *

><p><strong>Going to try to make this Alex's POV!<strong>

* * *

><p>An hour later, an agent walked in the door.<p>

I looked up.

Blunt was angry. "It's been an hour since we contacted you. And our agent has been finished his homework for quite a while now. Do you know what happened the last time he was that bored? He went after a drug dealer and dropped their boat on the police station! You could have gotten us all killed!"

I snickered. I was throwing rubber bands at Blunt and pretending that I didn't do anything. Later on, I decided to take out a knife and polish it, which made Blunt pretty nervous.

"Wait... homework? You're telling me your agent is still in school?" The agent looked around, and his eyes finally landed on me.

"You're sending this kid out on a mission? Isn't he... sort of young? I doubt he'd survive even 5 minutes!" The man started laughing, and he seemed like a newbie.

Time to teach this guy a lesson.

I threw the knife so that it landed in the wall about a centimeter from his head. Alright, now to add the scariness.

"Look," I said, putting on my worst glare. "I outrank you. I'm more experienced then you. I could kill you in less then a minute right now. So I suggest that you stop laughing about me."

The agent's face was pale, and there was a pause.

Finally, Blunt spoke up. "Please don't mind him. He's just angry that I confiscated most of his weapons." He gestured to a pile of guns, knives, and shuriken in the corner.

If it was possible, the agent's face became even paler.

After an awkward silence, I finally spoke up. "Can I go now? I'd like to get this mission over and done with; preferably before it begins raining bullets."

* * *

><p>"Hello, you must be Alex... Nevermore, is it?" the woman looked up, taking in my (disguised) appearance. Black hair, blue eyes, a small scar on the cheek. It seemed like it fit perfectly with his current persona. And the uniform was dark grey and black.<p>

It seemed a little too fitting.

"Yes." I said.

"Here's your schedule."

_Weird._ I thought. _Those __people __seem really unfriendly__..._

* * *

><p>A week later, 3 men dressed in dark clothes walked up to the apartment where Alex was sleeping. Alex woke up, but lay still, pretending to be still asleep.<p>

"Why would they want this kid?"

"I don't know, I guess it's because he's smart or something."

"Well, grab his bag and let's go."

"Why do we need his bag?"

"His file says that he needs glasses and has asthma."

"Alright, let's go."

"Hey, he's wearing this bracelet. Should I take it off?"

"No, leave it on."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm having fun with this fic.<strong>

**And don't complain if anything doesn't make sense or isn't explained, this comes straight out of the twisted machine which I call my brain. I did warn you in the summary.**

**A lot of people find that what comes out of it is funny.**

**Usually they don't see the hidden messages in what I say...**

**But I'm fairly certain that there are no secret messages in this fic.**

**At least, I hope.**

**Mainn- I'm glad you like it. Ink was pretty fun, because my mom won't let me get a snake. I really like snakes, don't know why she doesn't.**

**~Lightning***


	4. PLEASE READ

**Sorry abut this, everyone. I know this isn't what you wanted to see, but...**

**I have no clue where this story should go.**

**There's a poll on my profile, but if you don't like anything there, you can suggest something in a review. I prefer you suggest something, because I don't really like any ideas in particular.**

**Hopefully, I'll be able to decide or someone can suggest to me a good idea sometime soon. And then, hopefully, I can do more writing.**

**Until next time**

**~Lightning***

**PS: I'm doing extra credit homework for a contest, to memorize the most digits of pi. Got any suggestions to help me?**

**3.1415926535978... Did I get that right?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for voting, everyone! Most of my friends (well, the ones that like Alex Rider, at least) wanted the option for Jack to be killed and for Alex to be sent to Brecon Beacons, so here you go!**

**And they also wanted him to be captured by Scorpia while he was there... xD My friends are so fun. :U**

Alex woke up in a dark cell. He checked his wrist; thankfully, the little snake was still there.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh, <em>_good, __you__'__re __awake.__"_

"Yes, yes I am. Do you know what happened?"

"_Well, I think you were kidnapped."_

"No shit, Sherlock." Alex said, glancing around the small, dirty, badly lighted cell.

"_Well, __I__'__m __hungry_._"_

"Then go eat those rats!"

"_Kay.__"_ Ink slithered away to find some rats to eat.

"This sucks." Alex rested his head on his hands and watched Ink eat some of the rats.

* * *

><p>An hour later, a man in a white coat walked into Alex's cell.<p>

"We're going to perform some... experiments on you. Hopefully, your DNA won't reject the animal DNA."

"Sorry, you're a bit late." Alex spread his wings out, and unsheathed his claws, leaping at the man. His eyes were wide, and became even wider when they saw the metal claw against his throat.

"Now tell me why you are doing this, and who you're working for. Are you with the same group of people that did this to me in the first place?"

"Wh-who's that?"

Alex spotted the nametag.

_Scientist Richard S._

_White Sector_

"Oh, goody. You're with the whites. Tell them that Project R1034 is here when you see them in hell.

He killed the man with a flick of his claw and wiped it on the man's white coat.

"Ink, can you believe that? They sent one of the Whites."

"_Just focus on escaping."_

"Fine."

Scraping at the wall, he was surprised to see that the dirt came away easily in his claw. Working harder, he began digging a hole in the wall.

* * *

><p>The Scorpia assassin was waiting. Waiting for his target to make one fatal mistake. He didn't know why he had to kill this woman, but it was his first mission, and he was confident that he could do it. She stepped into the room he was watching, and turned away from the direction he was facing.<p>

Jack fell down, a single bullet wound in the back of her head.

The Scorpia assassin smiled. Mission accomplished. He vanished in the shadows.

* * *

><p>Alex flew out of the large hole, Ink curled around his wrist. It had been surprisingly easy to break out, and he had gotten it done in only about an hour. Alex flapped his wings harder when he noticed people aiming guns at him. Alex made it through the cloud cover.<p>

"!"

A bullet had flown past him, so close that Alex could feel the wind coming off of it. Gulping, he hurried along to where he knew the bank was located.

Alex landed behind the MI6 headquarters, grateful for his black clothing and wings that helped him blend in in the dark sky. It looked like it was about rain, and everyone was inside, so Alex was able to walk inside without anyone noticing the fact that he came out of nowhere. The receptionist looked up at him when he reached her desk.

"Hi, I'm here for an appointment with Mr. Blunt."

"I'm sorry, but no one by that name works here." Alex rolled his eyes.

"You're, new, aren't you?"

"Why yes, yes I am. How did you know?" Alex sighed.

"Agent Rider, number 314159265358979323. Now may I go?" he said exasperatedly. He'd had fun asking Blunt to make his agent number pi.

"What are you doing, practicing your maths homework?" Okay, maybe that wasn't so smart of a decision, after all.

Alex's eye twitched.

"Forget it."

Alex walked past her and into the elevator. He walked straight into Blunt's office.

"Hello, Alex." Mrs. Jones greeted.

"Alright, I'm tired, so let's make this quick. The same organization that's obsessed with adding animal DNA to humans is using the school as a cover to get more people to experiment on. They have really bad defenses and tried to give me a scorpion tail." Alex shuddered. Being part scorpion was not high on his priority list. Being full Scorpia wasn't on it either. "They have a facility located about a mile away from the school, and brought me there."

"I expect a full report in 3 days." Alan Blunt said.

Alex walked away, his eye twitching.

* * *

><p><strong>It's a little short. But I've been busy with pi! Let's see how much I've memorized...<strong>

**3....**

**Did I get that right? How many digits is it?**

**And by the way, thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

**And thanks to my oh-so _wonderful_ friends who voted and argues over what to do next in this story.**

**~Lightning***


	6. Chapter 6

**The title's been changed from On Tattered Wings to Pitch Black Feathers. I was intending to change it the whole time because I decided I liked raven wings more than bat wings, but just recently came up with the title.**

* * *

><p>Alex was writing the mission report in his office. Apparently it was protocol or something like that, and Alex got one after his third mission. He was never informed, but he never really got used to the fact that they'd had an office for him. Alex had been staying here for the past few days (he'd always wondered where Blunt and Jones lived...) and would be here for an undisclosed amount of time. Alex yawned and decided to go to sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>The next morning, Alex went to school, still carrying his unfinished report.<p>

"Rider! Are you doing your homework?"

Caught. And if that wasn't bad enough, it was Mr. Stevenson, the teacher that hated him the most.

"No, it's... umm... it's a story I'm writing?" He was so screwed.

"Really Mr. Rider? I'd like to see it, and I highly doubt that it actually is, considering that you ended that as a question."

"It's... a... thing with personal information in it?"

"Then I'd like to see it, considering that you're away so much.

"Right, give me on second." Alex wrote on a special piece of notebook paper.

"_Get an OSA form, Mr. Stevenson found out."_

"It's my mission report."

"It's a report-"

Alex cut him off. "I'm a spy for MI6. This is a report for my most recent mission, codenamed "Wings". They should be here sometime soon with an OSA form..." They waited in silence for a few awkward moments.

"You honestly expect me to believe that? I'm going to contact the authorities right now and-"

"We're above the law. Now where are they...? Whatever. They're always late."

Meanwhile, Crawley, who was driving in his black sedan in the London traffic, sneezed.

I'm going to march you to the office right now and make you announce the real reason why you've been gone to the _whole__school_if you don't tell the truth."

"Makes me hate is that Blunt never gave me an ID."

Suddenly, a black sedan drove to the parking lot, where Alex was sitting.

"That's a new record. Only about 20 minutes. the first time they took over twenty-four hours."

Crawley stepped out of the car. He walked towards them and held up an ID to Mr. Stevenson.

"Crawley, remind me again why I don't get an ID?"

"Because you're a security risk, Alex."

"What? I've saved the world multiple times!"

"Excuse me, but what's going on here? How do you two know each other?"

"Oh! Right! The OSA!" Crawley took the forms out of a brief case (where did that come from?), purposely avoiding the question.

"Sign this." Alex and Crawley chorused, and then looked at each other.

"What if I refuse?"

"Why would you?" Crawley asked coolly.

"This world needs to be informed of this! This is a-" Mr. Stevenson was interrupted by Crawley.

"I assume that you want to inform the media for money, and as a personal vendetta against Alex himself."

"What- but- how..." Mr. Stevenson sputtered.

"Then I'm correct." Crawley said disinterestedly.

"And if you told anyone, if you were lucky, you'd end up in jail for a few years." Alex said.

"What happens if I'm not lucky?" Mr. Stevenson asked, his face ashen white.

"Then you would be tortured and killed for information you don't have by one of my many enemies or wannabe enemies."

He gulped and signed the forms.

* * *

><p>Alex sat in Mr. Blunt's office. He had a bad feeling about this, and as usual, he was right. Mrs. Jones was the first to speak.<p>

"Alex, I'm sorry, but Jack was killed. We didn't want to tell you before, but you just came back from a mission, and we didn't want to do something rash or hurt you even more."

Alex trembled. He knew that he should've been angry, but he just couldn't be bothered to be angry at anything. "J-Jack d-died... And y-you didn't t-tell me?" Blunt noticed how he looked more scared and weak than angry and once again regretted bringing Alex into his office in the first place.

"Alex, I can reassure you that Jack wasn't tortured. She was shot in the back of her head, and it killed her instantly."

Alex toyed with the idea of taking one of the knives inside his jacket out and killed Blunt with it, but decided against it. He always kept a few knives and guns with him, mostly to get rid of all the wannabe assassins.

That and to scare Blunt.

"So what happens to me?"

"You will be sent to Brecon Beacons with K-Unit for training and for your own safety."

"... Fine... When do I go?"

"Start packing."

"You were expecting this, weren't you."

"Of course. Now get packing, you need to be done in an hour."

"... fine."

Alex flew out the window.

"... This seems strangely familiar, don't you think, Alan?"

"Him jumping out a window? That's normal."

* * *

><p>Alex crammed the fluffy pillow into the suitcase. He sat down on the top quickly and attempted to lock it.<p>

"Wait a second..."

He put a lot of clothing on top of the suitcase, and then locked it.

Maybe he shouldn't have packed every gadget Smithers gave him...

Nah, who knew when he would need to attract a few mosquitoes towards them for a prank?

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><p>"Wait wait wait... Are you kidding me? You're changing my codename? To <em>Raven<em>?"

"Yes, Alan wants to spite you."

Alex's jaw dropped.

"But... but... How am I going to explain this to them?"

"... Just tell them something. I'm sure that you'll think of something."

"Like what? That I'm an angel?"

"That works."

"..."

"Your car is outside."

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><p><strong>Typed this chapter up quickly. And I just recently noticed that I've started taking this fic a tad more seriously.<strong>

**But I still stuck at keeping characters in character.**

**~Lightning***


	7. I'M SO SORRY O

**I'M SO SORRY EVERYONE. ;o;**

**I lost the notebook that half of the next chapter is written in. I know, I fail. ;~;**

**I'm probably not going to find it, sorry to anybody who was reading this, but this story is now discontinued. If I find my notebook, then maybe I could continue it, but I'd probably have forgotten this super-cool idea I had.**

**As of the time right now: 7:51 PM January 6, 2012, this fanfic has 5 chapters, 1723 hits, 6 Favs, 17 alerts, and 648 visitors from all over the world... at the time of writing. This story has almost as many hits than my first fanfic, a Danny Phantom fanfic called Weapon, which has 1860 hits, 8 Favs, and 5 alerts, and has 13 chapters. This story has helped me improve in my opinion, and I really do hope that you will stay with me if I begin a new Alex Rider fanfic... a serious one.**

**So again, I'm really, really, really sorry to everyone who read this and actually enjoyed it. I didn't really think anyone would actually like this. If you'd like, you can read Crash and Burn, which will still be updated with rejected ideas and stuff I wanted to put in but never got around to doing.**

**I have no clue how I can make it up to you if I've disappointed you, and hope you can accept my sincerest apologies.**

**~Lightning***


	8. READ IF YOU WANT PBF TO BE CONTINUED

**Everyone who read, liked, and wishes for a new chapter of this story should read this.**

**I'm writing sort of a spinoff of this on my DA account, called Black Phoenix. It has a much different plot from Pitch Black Feathers, and although it starts up at the same point PBF ended, those are the only similarities. It involves Alex joining an organization called Phoenix, instead of being kidnapped by Scorpia like in the original plot.**

**The first chapter in on my DA account, and the link to it is on my profile. You can read it, but it you want it to continue, leave a comment there, a review here, or a PM.**

**The reason why I'm only posting this now?**

**I have a folder with rejected ideas for this fic, and while I was cleaning a reorganizing the files, I came across the idea for Black Phoenix. This is for your benefit, and I realized that probably a lot of people were disappointed. Crash and Burn will still be continued, until I finish writing everything that got rejected but is still funny.**

**It would be very much appreciated if you could tell me if you like it or not.**

**By the way, PBF is being continued by Rosiedude... the real thing, not this idea.**

**xD**

**~Lightning***


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, I discontinued this over a year ago.**

**HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE STILL FINDING THIS?!**

**No, seriously. I'd really like to know.**

**Anyway, this is actually a chapter. Shocking, right? 2013 seems to be reviving so many dead fics, it's not even funny.**

**Since I'm not sure how many of you read the version on deviantart, this starts off where the last chapter ended.**

**And if any of my original readers are still here, please do drop a review. Have I improved? Worsened? Stayed the same? Become more evil after leaving Alex in a car for over a year?**

**(Only 770 words in the actual chapter right now, just because it's been so long since I last updated.)**

**-Lightning**

* * *

><p>The ride was long and boring. Alex couldn't remember it being as boring last time, but he was more jaded now, and memories did blur after so long, so he couldn't be sure.<p>

The driver had attempted to make some conversation, wondering what someone as young as Alex would be doing in a military camp, but quickly shut up when Alex glared at him.

Nothing particularly eventful happened, besides them almost running over some poor man who had set himself on fire after throwing a book off a cliff and sobbing hysterically for 3 hours. He had glimpsed the cover, and it was blue with white and black clouds. Alex made a mental note to try to find out what book it was later at some point.

When they arrived, the poor driver looked as if he had aged 10 years in the few hours he had spent with Alex. Clumps of his hair were lying around him, and he quickly shoved Alex out of the car and drove away at top speed, the sound of sobbing lingering long after he had moved out of sight.

Oh, how Alex loved torturing people.

His smile quickly turned into a frown as it suddenly began raining, storm clouds seemingly rolling out of nowhere.

His wings dragged behind him in the mud, and when he finally reached the Sergeant's office, he looked very much like an unhappy wet bird.

"Cub, I see you're—WHAT THE BLAZES ARE THOSE ON YOUR BACK?!" Sergeant's voice was unusually high and shrill for a 40-50 year old SIS man.

"I'm an angel, obviously. Heaven kicked me out because I was annoying everyone by vandalising buildings and generally just being an annoying, bored teenager. Hell didn't want me because I was on the side of good, so Death basically just left me back in the world of the living because I reminded it of the favours it owed me." He casually said, shaking his wings before the cold could seep in and make him sick.

Fortunately, Sergeant was too out of it to notice that Alex was getting mud and water everywhere in his office. He numbly handed Alex the paperwork and his schedule and slumped back down into his chair in shock.

Seeing that he wouldn't get any answers out of the man, Alex walked away to find a place where he could read in peace.

Sergeant opened his bottom cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch. He briefly considered getting out the glasses but decided against it and began drinking straight out of the bottle.

* * *

><p>Turns out, Alex couldn't find any dry spots that were quiet.<p>

Well, at least, not for the next few hours, but by then, it was already dark.

Which was why he was now sitting alone in the mess hall, trying to read his schedule and what he would be doing at camp, by himself, under the strangely lighted mess hall.

Seriously, why were the lights on?

When he was finished, he got up and realized that his leg was asleep. His wings could also use a good stretch, so he made his decision and ran out of the door, wings already spread before taking off in one mighty downstroke of his wings, Ink grumbling at him as he finally aroused from his slumber.

He really loved flying, especially, if it annoyed Ink enough for him to stop curling around his wrist so tightly. Seriously, he felt like his circulation was being cut off by the snake.

He laughed as another icy, biting breeze hit him and glided down to a large tree branch. The torture that he had gone through by the hands of those insane, stupid scientists was made almost worthwhile tin those moments, when he felt freer than a bird. (Freer because birds didn't have hands, and thus couldn't do things like be the best teenage spies in the world. Birds just kind of flew around and were birds; Alex had so many more advantages over them, like opposable thumbs, for one.)

Yep, because being one of MI6's best agents, being able to fly, and being able to digest meats and play video games were much better than just being a bird and eating worms or whatever it was that birds ate.

Life was good (when it wasn't bad).

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the Sergeant was lying passed out on his chair, an empty bottle of scotch next to his outstretched hand. He would wake up in the morning with the worst hangover of his life, wonder what happened last night, remember, and would then promptly down another bottle of alcohol.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I hate you all.<strong>

**Seriously, how in the universe do you people find this stuff? You can find me still yelling the same things over and over on tumblr at lightningfracture. tumblr. com (no spaces.)**

**As in an actual voice recording of me being exasperated and wondering just exactly how you people keep finding this. (terrible quality, btw)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Did I mention that I thought people would be discouraged by the huge sign in the summary that says "I hate you all" in all caps?**

**Disclaimer: I don't know anything about the legal system in Britain, or, to be completely honestly, pretty much anywhere.**

* * *

><p><strong>Day 1<strong>

Alex looked at his schedule. He was supposed to be assessed over the next several days on various subjects, but they didn't even tell him where he was supposed to stay. Alex snorted at that. Typical MI6, always forgetting that their agents were actually human. (Well, actually, for Alex, it was debatable, so let's say 'living, breathing, sentient creatures' instead.)

Today he was going to be assessed on martial arts, and there was going to be some professional instructor coming in to analyse his every move. He was supposed to be dominating Alex in his job description, but considering that a teenager had to be blackmailed to work for the government organisation and ended up becoming their top agent, he really didn't think that highly of MI6's lower ranking agents.

Wait, no, he didn't think that highly of any of MI6's agents.

Because, really, how incompetent did your employees have to be for you to have to resort to blackmailing teenagers to be better than all the adults combined?

Oh, this was going to be fun.

It had been fun. The instructor was a pompous, haughty man, who thought Alex was just a little boy who had gotten lost and was completely helpless without his rich father.

He was put into place quickly.

When he found out that Alex was the agent he was supposed to be assessing, he was surprised and really not believing him.

"Oh, so now MI6 is hiring kids to do their work? I'm ashamed of—"

And that was all he got out before Alex kicked him in the gut.

"Oh, so you want to fight now, pretty boy? I'll show you how real men—"

And then Alex punched him in the face. Turns out he wasn't that far off the mark; they were as bad as he thought they would be.

"You really think you can beat me, a—"

Alex swept his legs out from below him, knocking him to the floor.

Scratch that, they were (amazingly) worse than he could've ever imagined.

"You can't do this to me! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHO I AM? I'M—"

Alex hit him in the solar plexus with a knife jab. It was entertaining at first, but now his talking was getting annoying.

How could anybody be that bad when working for the government?

The man wheezed for a few seconds before starting again.

"You'll... be... hearing... from..."

Alex kicked him again, not even trying to look awesome or with any style at all. He just really, really wanted the man to shut up.

The man was somehow still talking.

With a scream of rage, Alex attacked him again.

And that was the story of how Alex ended up standing above a man, who had a cracked jaw, 3 fractured ribs, a broken right arm, and a dislocated shoulder.

Of course, things never worked out that nicely in paperwork.

The man had pressed charges on assault and impersonation, which was why he was now sitting in the office across from Mr. Blunt and Mrs. Jones.

"Alex, it's your first day of assessments. How could you have possibly already made enemies?" Mrs. Jones said, still sucking on that ever-present peppermint.

Where did she keep those things, anyway?

Alex filed the question away in his mid somewhere. Maybe he could use them in a prank or something...

"Alex! Are you even listening to me?"

Alex was snapped out of his thoughts by Mrs. Jones's voice.

"Of course I was. Now, can we repeat what last few sentences that you said?"

Mrs. Jones was clearly annoyed, but repeated her sentence again. "I said, 'Why did you break Agent Gerald's arm, fracture 3 of his ribs, dislocate his left shoulder, and cause bruising over his entire body?'"

Alex blinked. "Oh, so his name was Gerald? I thought he was angry for no reason, but his parents must have hated him to name him Gerald..."

"Alex, that is beside the point! You are being immature when there are charges being pressed against you!"

"For what? I wasn't impersonating anyone, and he was supposed to be assessing me on my martial arts skills. If anything, I should be the one pressing charges for him not doing his job and potentially putting me in danger." Alex said, leaning back into his chair and examining his fingernails. He knew that they really couldn't do anything to him, and if Gerald (Alex still had to stifle a giggle at that) was still going to try to bring it into court, he would be laughed out of it.

After all, what kind of teenager would be able to beat up and utterly humiliate a fully trained adult who worked for the government? Legally, Alex had nothing to do with MI6, so they really couldn't do anything at all against him.

Why would MI6 ever hire a teenager?

The next day, the charges were dropped.

Alex couldn't stop laughing for 10 whole minutes, before realising that his assessments would be continued the next day after that short legal mishap.

He then began laughing again, mentally creating bets on how long they others would last.

Oh yes, this was going to be very fun.

**Very, **_**very**_** fun.**

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, hello there. These next few chapters are going to focus on Alex's assessments.<strong>

**Hooray.**


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